Am I a bad person? Questions to ask yourself (2023)

Am I a bad person? Questions to ask yourself (1)Share on Pinterest

Like most people, you've probably done some things you thought were good, some things you thought were bad, and a lot in between.

maybe youincorrectYour partner, stole money from a friend, or hit your child in a fit of rage. After that you were dissatisfied with yourself and decided never to do it again.

You may still be wondering what this behavior says about you as a person, causing stress and uncomfortable feelings.

Remember to ask yourselfI am a bad person?This is not unusual, just looking at this question shows that you have a certain level of self-confidence and empathy.

If you're trying to avoid damage, that's a good sign. When you can see that you have room for improvement, who doesn't? – makes a promising first step towards positive change.

If you need help now

If you are thinking about killing yourself or thinking about harming yourself, you can callAdministration of Substance Abuse and Mental Health Servicesand 800-662-HELP (4357).

The 24/7 hotline connects you to mental health resources in your area. Trained specialists can also help you find resources for treatment in your state if you don't have health insurance.

This is a complex question with no simple answer. Most people would agree that being "nice" is related to moral behavior and aimportant partThat's fair to others.

But both "fair" and "bad" can be subjective and difficult to define.

Dr. Maury Joseph, one in Washington, D.C. resident psychologist, stresses the importance of considering the context of misconduct.

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"If a person chooses the only option available to them based on their developmental history, the prejudices of the country they were born in, and their current environment, does that make them bad?"

When it comes to defining "bad," so does culture and play a role. What is "bad" for one person may not be for another. It can be acceptable or even good depending on the influences around you. Even the concept of "good" and "evil" as opposites is culturally dependent and can change over time.

For many of us, a lack of empathy and rejection of the other are signs of unacceptable behavior, but even this may not be due to personal choices but to circumstances beyond the individual's control.

Put simply, everyone has a backstory that provides important context for their behavior. What might be considered bad behavior for one person may seem more reasonable for someone from a different background.

The Dark Factor of Personality.

in oneResearch work 2018miwebsite, three psychologists suspect that what they call the "D," or dark factor of personality, is at the root of unethical or cruel behavior.

Factor D features includenarcissismmiPsychopathy, With:

  • sadism
  • Resentment
  • own interest
  • GUT
  • moral detachment
  • selfishness

All of these qualities indicate that someone will pursue their own interests at the expense of others.

You may have noticed some traces of factor D in your behavior. Regardless, the following questions can help you review your behavior and identify areas that need some work.

Many of the decisions you make affect people other than yourself. Before you do anything, especially if you have doubts about whether it's the right thing to do, it's wise to stop and consider whether your action could harm someone else.

Passing on a workplace rumor to your boss might make you look good, but it certainly won't help your co-worker, especially if the rumor isn't true.

If you don't care much about the potential impact as long as you benefit from it, or if you have trouble considering the implications for others, it might be worth investigating.

In your daily life, do you make time to consider the emotions of those around you? Showing an interest in the well-being of others is an important part of maintenanceRelationships.

(Video) The Empowering Questions You Should Ask Yourself During Tough Times | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN

You may feel guilty that you don't have much time or energy to help. But it doesn't take much to show that you care. It is often sufficient to offer emotional support or ahearing ear.

Talking to a therapist can be helpful if you feel indifferent or believe others deserve the pain they are feeling.

You can do things that others think are bad out of necessity. For example,many people lie, cheat or steal from time to time. They may feel bad about it, but they also feel like it's the only option available. The motives don't always justify theft or other crimes, but putting them in context can help.

Maybe you stole it because you couldn't buy something you needed. Or you lied to protect the feelings of a loved one or to keep him out of trouble. Of course, these are probably not the best moves. But if you have an underlying motive to protect someone you care about, act to cause as little harm as possible.

Here are some other reasons a person might do something that many people find unacceptable:

  • You have a mental health problem that affects your judgment.
  • They have an addiction that affects their priorities.
  • Previous experiences such as B. Child abuse, affect your ability to behave differently.
  • Their upbringing or culture did not teach them that certain behaviors are inappropriate in certain contexts.
  • Pressure, such as time pressure at work or peer pressure, leads to mistakes.

Morality is relative and depends heavily on the context in which a person grows up and lives. people oftenFeel"justified anger" when their code of ethics is violated, for example in relation to individual rights. A person whose social and moral code prioritizes the good of the community over the individual might think differently.

On the other hand, if you do unethical or rude things to hurt others, or for no reason, it may be worth asking for help.

When others help you or show you kindness, you say thank you and show your appreciation.recognition, possibly do something nice for them in return?

Or do you accept these gestures as something you deserve, something you are entitled to?

How do you feel when others ask you for help? Are you trying to help them get what they need, or are you ignoring their requests without reaching out for assistance?

If you're not getting anything back and it doesn't bother you at all, a therapist can help you better understand why.

According to Joseph, the people closest to us can sometimes make us uncomfortable. "We attack them, we're angry, we push them away, we say hurtful things."

Maybe you tend to say mean things in arguments or put your friends down when you're feeling down.

Most people would certainly find this behavior bad. But how to deal with the consequences? Does he apologize, try to make amends, or break away?communicatebetter in the future?

You may feel terrible, but regret and remorse can help pave the way for improvement.

Maybe you don't care who you hurt. Or maybe you think your partner deserves harsh words or other abuse for treating you badly. These are signs that you should take a closer look at his behavior.


Gebpersonal hygieneIt's about making sure you can meet your own needs. There's nothing wrong with being a little self-centered from time to time. You should not feel bad or guilty that you cannot help other people by meeting your own needs.

If you think only of yourself when your life is affecting other people, such as a partner or children, these other people may experience pain or suffering as a result.

Children cannot meet many of their own needs, so parents often have to find ways to meet their emotional and physical needs. This can be difficult when dealing with illness or mental health issues, but a therapist can provide guidance and support.

Professional support can also help if you feel like you don't really care about others.

You've done some introspection and asked yourself some tough questions. You may find that there are some aspects of yourself that you could improve.

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Everyone is capable of change. If you've tried to change and failed, you may feel like there's no point in trying again. It may seem easier to stay the way it is.

just chooseNODoing bad things can push you in the right direction. obliged to tellless lies, for example, is a significant step.

Here are some more tips to help you keep going.

consider the consequences

Instead of acting impulsively when you want something, ask yourself if your behavior could have a negative impact on another person. If you take a moment to think about it, you can remind yourself that your actions don't just affect you.

It's not always possible to avoid getting everyone hurt. By proceeding with caution and compassion, you can avoid unnecessary pain. Thinking it through can also help you come up with a solution that's best for everyone involved.

practice self-acceptance

can helpremember whenthat we all make mistakes. You may have hurt people, but you're not the only one who has. The most important thing is to learn from the past and grow from it so as not to hurt people in the future.

Even if you have done some things that were not good, you are still worthy of love and forgiveness. You may find it difficult to accept this from others until you cangranted.

Identify your values ​​and live by them

Clearly defined values ​​can help you lead a more fulfilling life.

Ask yourself what is most important to you. Honesty, trust, kindness, communication, integrity and responsibility are some possible examples.

Then identify changes you can make to live those values, such as:

  • always tell the truth
  • honor your commitments
  • Tell people if something bothers you

talk to a therapist

If you spend a lot of time wondering what kind of person you are, therapy can be of great help. There may also be an underlying issue, such asDepression,emphasize, or other mental health problems that affect your mood and your interactions with others.

Therapy is also a safe place to learn more about what drives your behavior and receive guidance on more productive ways to meet your needs. A compassionate and ethical therapist will offer unbiased support.

“People with complex interpersonal issues can put up a facade that prevents people from glancing at them for more than a cursory glance. They seem mean, with no guilt, no regrets. But that might not be all,” says Joseph.

Therapy can help people change their behavior, he explains, allowing them "to gain a deeper understanding of the emotions of others, to see them not as a commodity but as something more complex."

Your ability to think about your actions and ponder their repercussions suggests that you are probably a better person than you think you are. Even if you have done bad things or have some D traits, you are still capable of change.

(Video) Former CIA Officer Will Teach You How to Spot a Lie l Digiday

The choices you make in life define who you are, and you always have choices.Do it better.

Crystal Raypole previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her areas of interest include Asian languages ​​and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, science, sex positivity and mental health. In particular, she works to reduce the stigma attached to mental health issues.


How do I know if I'm a bad person? ›

Another person might define a bad person as an individual who doesn't care about other people, regardless of the type of actions they engage in.
  • The Dark Factor of Personality.
  • Lack of Apologies or Remorse.
  • Self-Centered Behaviors.
  • Manipulation, Exploitation, and Dishonesty.
  • Personality.
  • Experiences.
  • Mental Health Conditions.
Mar 18, 2022

What defines a bad person? ›

Definitions of bad person. a person who does harm to others. synonyms: malefactor. Antonyms: good person. a person who is good to other people.

How do I stop feeling like I'm a bad person? ›

So, what next?
  1. Consider the consequences. Instead of acting on impulse when you want something, ask yourself if your behavior might have a negative impact on anyone. ...
  2. Practice self-acceptance. It can help to remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. ...
  3. Identify your values and live accordingly. ...
  4. Talk to a therapist.

How do I know if I'm a good person? ›

"These include positive intentions, putting the brakes on anger, restraining addictive impulses, extending compassion and helpfulness to others, grit and determination, lovingness, courage, generosity, patience, and a willingness to see and even name the truth whatever it is," Hanson wrote on Psychology Today in 2013.

What qualifies a person as good or bad? ›

There are actions, their consequences, and the society's perception. If our actions are for the benefit of others, then they are good. However, if they are harmful to any, they're bad.

What are words for really bad person? ›

Synonyms of villain
  • brute.
  • monster.
  • devil.
  • criminal.
  • savage.
  • offender.
  • beast.
  • scoundrel.

Why am I scared of being a bad person? ›

Common triggers. People with OCD focused on fears of being a bad person may be triggered by situations involving morality, scrupulosity, political discussions, memories of past events, physical sensations that feel inappropriate, and anything else that causes a person to believe that they are bad or evil.

Why am I getting bad feelings? ›

Negative emotions can come from a triggering event, such as an overwhelming workload. Your thoughts surrounding an event also play a role. The way that you interpret what happened can alter how you experience the event and whether or not it causes stress.

Can intrusive thoughts make you feel like a bad person? ›

People often feel guilt and shame, and 'beat themselves up' about what they're thinking – but intrusive thoughts do not make you a bad person, or a criminal. In this way, intrusive thoughts can have a detrimental impact on our mental health.

How do you know who you truly are? ›

6 Steps to Discover Your True Self
  1. Be quiet. You cannot and will not be able to discover yourself until you take the time to be still. ...
  2. Realize who you truly are, not who you want to be. ...
  3. Find what you are good at (and not good at). ...
  4. Find what you are passionate about. ...
  5. Ask for feedback. ...
  6. Assess your relationships.
Jul 3, 2021

What makes a person truly good? ›

“Goodness is expressed through lovingkindness, generosity of spirit and deed, and the thoughtful consideration of others. It can be as simple as offering to let someone ahead of you in line and as complicated as making yearslong sacrifices of your freedom because someone you love needs your help.

What personality does a good person have? ›

Good character includes traits like loyalty, honesty, courage, integrity, fortitude, and other important virtues that promote good behavior. A person with good character chooses to do the right thing because he or she believes it is the morally right to do so.

What are 4 qualities of a good person? ›

Foundational Human Qualities. Qualities that form the foundation of all other human qualities include honesty, integrity, courage, self-awareness, and wholeheartedness. These qualities define who we are as human beings.

What are 5 qualities of a good? ›

List of positive qualities & characteristics
  • Warm.
  • Friendly.
  • Clean.
  • Honest.
  • Loyal.
  • Trustworthy.
  • Dependable.
  • Open-Minded.

How can you tell the difference between good and evil? ›

Good is associated with qualities like selflessness, kindness, benevolence, morality, and compassion. Evil is associated with qualities like selfishness, cruelty, wickedness, immorality, etc.

What is a worst person called? ›

nounvillainous or criminal person. antagonist. antihero. bad actor. bad person.

What is the strongest word for bad? ›

  • disastrous.
  • distressing.
  • harsh.
  • intense.
  • painful.
  • serious.
  • terrible.
  • grave.

What is a bad word for insult? ›

Synonyms of insult
  • offence.
  • sarcasm.
  • outrage.
  • indignity.
  • slap.
  • affront.
  • epithet.
  • diss.

How do you know if someone shouldn't be in your life? ›

9 Signs That It's Time to Get a Toxic Person Out of Your Life
  • You talk about them a lot. ...
  • You lose your temper. ...
  • Your self-esteem dwindles. ...
  • You blame them for your behavior. ...
  • You dread spending time with them. ...
  • You stoop to their level. ...
  • You don't set healthy boundaries. ...
  • You resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Oct 15, 2015

What makes a person good or bad? ›

There are actions, their consequences, and the society's perception. If our actions are for the benefit of others, then they are good. However, if they are harmful to any, they're bad.

Who decides good and bad? ›

Good and bad are defined by people. When nobody knows and there is nobody there to judge, then good and bad do not inherently exist. The standards of good or bad are usually socially constructed. That is, we create them with reference to others and what they have said.

Why do I feel like I can't do anything right? ›

Low self-esteem manifests in different ways, such as not feeling in control of life, having a hard time asking for help, being afraid of failure, not having good boundaries, and not speaking kindly to yourself. Boosting your self-esteem can help you feel like you can do things right in life after all.

How do you know you are not made for each other? ›

06/6Having nothing in common

But if you or your partner is not putting any effort tending to each other's likes and dislikes, then the relationship isn't going to last much longer. Having nothing in common can be a major red flag that you both aren't meant for each other.

When should you stay away from someone? ›

If you're in the wrong relationship, you'll know it. Signs you should stay away from someone include feeling bad about yourself, making poor choices when you're with this person, and feeling controlled. Having no respect for your boundaries is another sign you should stay away from them.

When should you not let someone back into your life? ›

If you aren't able to handle getting torn apart by them again, then you shouldn't risk allowing them back into your life. You don't want to put yourself in a situation where you are insecure and miserable. You need to put your mental health first and your relationship with them second.

What are three negative qualities of a person? ›


What bad qualities do you have? ›

What Are Your Negative Qualities?
  • Tardiness.
  • Short temper.
  • Lack of organization.
  • Perfectionism.
  • Stubbornness.
  • Messiness.
  • Poor time management.
  • Bossiness.

What is an example of evil? ›

Natural evils are bad states of affairs which do not result from the intentions or negligence of moral agents. Hurricanes and toothaches are examples of natural evils. By contrast, moral evils do result from the intentions or negligence of moral agents. Murder and lying are examples of moral evils.

What makes human act good or evil? ›

The object, the intention, and the circumstances make up the 'sources', or constitutive elements, of the morality of human acts.” (CCC 1750). These are the criteria in the light of which we can decide whether human actions are good or evil.

How can you distinguish if an act is morally good or evil? ›

Morally wrong acts are activities such as murder, theft, rape, lying, and breaking promises. Other descriptions would be that they are morally prohibited, morally impermissible, acts one ought not to do, and acts one has a duty to refrain from doing. Morally right acts are activities that are allowed.

Why do I feel nothing at all? ›

Feeling emotionally numb is associated with a number of mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. Emotional numbness can also be a sign of schizophrenia, depersonalization/derealization disorder, or dissociative identity disorder.

Why can't I figure out how I feel? ›

Having alexithymia can make it hard for you to express or identify your emotions. The condition can occur with certain conditions, such as depression, neurological conditions, and brain injury. Alexithymia is a broad term to describe problems with feeling emotions.

Why can't I get up and do anything? ›

Why can I not get up in the morning? Possible underlying reasons include depression and anxiety. Depression is linked to dysania, a nonmedical term for when a person feels the need to stay in bed without sleeping. A wide range of physical conditions can also lead to fatigue, making it hard to get up.


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